Looking past the Cover

It's difficult not to judge. Just as much as I hate being subjected as such, I can't help but do it myself. Science  explains the tendency to 'judge a book by its cover' as an early warning defense system. If a person or place doesn't look safe / sane / nice, then perhaps it is best if you stay away, because you might get hurt. This is reducing 'judgment' to its most primitive form of course. But nonetheless, I am convinced this is why people judge others.

As mentioned above, I have had my share of surprises from people, some that I had judged to be good, others bad. Humans never cease to amaze me with their capability for surprise. Sometimes, you think you know a person, only for them to stab you in the back. (How bitter.) Anyways. The point is, I have found that you can never say you really know a person unless you've seen them at their worst, or when push comes to shove. When people's backs are up against the wall, that's when you see who they really are. Take this story for example:

I once trusted a (what I thought) was a good friend with my electric guitar. I had known this person for the better part of a year and played in a band with him. However, after I lent him my prize possession, he suddenly disappeared without a trace. So much for friends. I later found out that he was strapped for cash, due to an out of control gambling habit - in short he owed some big people an equally big amount of cash. That taught me a lesson in trust and boundaries with people. I'm a much more cautious person nowadays, when lending people my things.

But for all the capacity for double crossing, some people surprise me with their capacity to perform. Many a time have I thought that certain people couldn't or wouldn't contribute to academic projects, only for them to pull through. Just goes to show there's always two sides that need to be examined.

What's the Point?

What's the point of the story Document? To me, there is a lesson to be learned here. I still stand by my assumption that the girl in the story is trying to communicate something to the protagonist; namely that she is leaving, or is about to leave or give up on him, or something of the sort. This is evident from what the story 'Disappear' is about. A woman who is slowly fading. Like she is disappearing from life itself. Next, if both of them are comfortable enough to go in and out of the guys room, so much so that the landlord assumes her to be his girlfriend, then to me these are signs of a certain comfort between the two. This doesn't necessarily mean there is a romantic or physically intimate bond, but there must be something happening. The main character doesn't seem to understand this, because he strikes me as socially inept and awkward. So what is the lesson to be learned here? It is to act, before it is too late, because if you procrastinate, you may just end up regretting it and losing something that is dear to you. Now, the main character may not be aware of the fact that the girl likes him, but the story does spur his thoughts and gets his gears turning so to speak. A whole spectrum of possibility has been opened to him through the story. He didn't recognize the opportunity of being with the girl for what it was, thus putting him in this precarious position now. So, the greater point of the story is: Seize the opportunity.

Language Barrier

I think the fundamental problem here goes beyond just trust. Behind the lack of faith, there is an inability to communicate directly, whether this stems from her lack of self confidence or the advancement in communication technology, is a topic for debate. For me, it's a little of both. Technology has made communication so impersonal and so much more complicated. Perhaps the rapid advancement in technology and the de-personalized way we communicate because of it, have caused us to lose our face-to-face communication skills. It's like the woman in this story has to find out things via clandestine means, when she could simply be straight forward with the guy. I think modern technology is at fault.

The way I would like the story to end is for the guy to play along with the girls little game, and through some elaborate scheme gets back at her. For example: He'd agree to meet up with the girl, giving her the impression that he thinks that she is in fact his ex. Then show up and pick her out of the crowd and telling her he was in on it the whole time and the next time she feels the need to REALLY check up on him, she can do so without having to pretend she's someone else. Oh, and that if she could please limit the calls to after work hours.

A Magnificent Display of Power

If you type 'define:magnificence' into the Google search field, the first explanation reads:

• impressiveness: splendid or imposing in size or appearance; "the grandness of the architecture"; "impressed by the richness of the flora"

The Princeton website says:

• magnificent - brilliant: characterized by grandeur; "the brilliant court life at Versailles"; "a glorious work of art"; "magnificent cathedrals"; "the splendid coronation ceremony"

Now, taking what we can gather from these explanations and from my own understanding, I think the 'magnificence' in the story pertains to the simultaneous display of control and wrath that the mother unleashes upon the would be sexual predator Vicente. 

'Hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned.' However, the mother is not one to act rashly: She is all at once, the prudent tactician, taking first and foremost the safety and well being of her children into consideration, as well as the bringer of righteous vengeance - impressive, grand, undeniable in her intent. In fact, so effective is her plan that Vicente offers no resistance and asks for no quarter, as it is obvious none will be given. This combination of traits is what characterizes the 'magnificence' in the story.

My feeling after the discussion were mixed. I wanted it to continue, and further explore the effect such an experience may leave upon a child. When I was in treatment, there were many such stories, so I know all too well what these things can do to either sex. Individuals have confided to me that behavior such as promiscuity and other 'attention-getting' attitudes can stem from such incidents. So, it is quite a topic. However, these discussions before were presided over by psychologists, but I still find it of particular interest. If anything, the discussion made me want to look into it more.

As for my own experience... well... this experience is not mine, but I witnessed it happen. It was about six years ago, in Makati that one of my friends got into a dispute with another man over his girlfriend, who was flirting with said friend. Push came to shove and before we knew it, we were standing in a parking lot near 'Capones' with the jealous boyfriend pointing a gun at my friend, the barrel aimed neatly between his eyes. This is where true grit and nerves of steel kick in. I watched calmly as my friend reasoned with the pistol toting man. Telling him that nothing would be gained. Dropping a few names. A real show of bravery. And soon my friend was on the offensive and the guy backed down and left with his girlfriend. My friend Jose could have died that night. But he lived because of his quick wit. No wonder he's an international lawyer (graduated from the Universidad Central de Madrid) in Spain today.